OMG! What depth of emotion and so well put. I'm in the process of letting go after 36 years. I cried for your pain and I cried for mine. We WILL survive! There is happiness on the other side of that door. This hell is for a reason and I know I will be better off in the end. Mine AH is still here and I watch from a distance now. It's so sad but they are the only one's who can fix this. Stay strong. We can do this! Hugs and support from afar.