There's no logic to addiction Carly.
I've drunk at times when it made absolutely no sense to drink.
But that was in active addiction...in recovery I know what to do if and when I have those irrational insane thoughts...
and I think you know you know what to do too Carly
if they come, don't act on those impulses, make healthy decisions, and reach out for support.
If you keep slipping, maybe you need more support? what have you tried so far?
There's no reason to be afraid tho...I don't believe any of us is a victim waiting for an ambush...your recovery is as strong and resilient as you're prepared to make it
It can be hard work - that's where the support comes in - but it's necessary work...and the rewards are immense
D