Originally Posted by lost21

Caligirl, this is my first time on the site. I read your postings and my heart is breaking for you. I am in the exact perdicament you are in right now. I left him tonight and fled to my parents. Now I am sitting here trying to rationalize why I should stay away. Like wtf? Why do we do this to ourselves? We know its never going to change unless we show them that this lifestyle and behaviour is unacceptable. We can't think about what we are going to tell the kids, how we are going to make it work, because that fear will stop us from ever moving forward. Our kids can come from 'broken homes' but they don't have to live in them. It's so friken hard though. And I hate how they say 'probably' and maybe and what not. And they don't ever stop to realize what it does to their loved ones..and when they do, it just causes more guilt in them which equals more drinking...this is so sickening. I have been feeling close to a nervous breakdown too. But remember that our children need us, and more importantly we need us. We have to take the time to heal ourselves and only then can we begin to see things clearly...I know its always easier saying it to someone else, but hold on Cali, things CAN get better, for you and your boys at least.