What I know is that I need balance in my life.
I used to over-extend, overdo, etc and when I began recovery, I knew that was a major part of my personality that I needed to work on. From what you said, I wonder if you don't like being 'alone' with yourself? I was like that. I couldn't sit and relax with myself because I was afraid where my mind would go. So, I had to start with basics and find things about myself that I really liked and work on spending time alone. I think it's also significant that you can't seem to be able to be on time even when it causes problems in your life. Could you be self-sabotaging? I wonder if you set yourself up when you can't arrive on time.
As far as joining the Military, sit with yourself, be very quiet and the answer will come to you.
