"control" is a good thread title, because you obviously know you really have none over this disease. You know the ideas that pop into your head about "things" you could do to help her is your own magical thinking. You are seeking help, both for you and with your kids. You are doing all the right things. But, not feeling it yet. I remember those days. It gets easier over time.
It's hard to admit we have no control over the destruction of our family. We helped build it - we have a say in its demise, right? With addictions, we don't have a say, except where it comes to our own choices. You are choosing to remain on the healthy path, being a father, running a home, working to pay for it all, etc. You will fed, clothe, bath, educate, inspire, teach those kids all by yourself (it isn't as bad as it seems on the outset!). For now, your wife has chosen a different path. Acceptance of her right to do that is key, regardless of whether or not you understand it. It is her choice, after all.
Try to stay focused on today. Enjoy the little moments of happiness (they are happening; its just hard to see when we are eyeball deep in our own pain). Don't think too much about the future, the what-ifs, or questioning your choices that have already been made. Yesterday is gone. Keep your eyes focused on the here and now - and deal with things one at a time. Rely on the kindness of people around you. Let others help. Ask for help.
Be proud of yourself for how far you have come already. You did the "man" thing perfectly - removed your kids from a potentially harmful situation. Feel pride in that. That's what real men and women do. You are behaving selflessly toward your children with those actions. Embrace that.
Keep coming back,
~T