Hey,
I understand how addictive cocaine can be as it almost destroyed me but I am now 14 months clean and my life has really improved.
To stop using you need to make some some massive changes in your life - talk to your husband and stop buying cocaine.
If you are unable to visit a doctor then can I suggest attening a CA meeting and maybe seeing a shrink for the depression. When I stopped using the depression was bad and me head was a mess but with time (6 month +) I was able to move forward and start to enjoy life again.
My shrink allowed me to understand why I used and deal with my mental issues - it was a fantastic decision as the sessions really helped.
If you need any advise on how I stopped using then let me know
Its a long hard battle to stop using but its a fantastic decision and your life will only get better but you need to give this 100% and time.