meadowsis

Good job on sticking to your guns!! If you ever feel yourself worrying too much, just come back here, these folks have a way of snapping me back in line so far

Yea, I think he has only asked once if our grandma is okay who went into the hospital the same week he went into jail. It was nothing more then a very small passing question at the end of a conversation. Still VERY self centered and proves what others have said, he is a 'clean' addict not in recovery.

He called again with new guilt trip tactics this weekend, so I have resolved to go no contact for awhile.

Its funny, his lies and stories have actually made ME feel better about my decision to say no. He tried to guilt trip me by saying we never offered him rehab (we cant afford private but I have given him info on state stuff before). When I asked, he SAID he tried to get into the jail treatment program, but there is a "wait list due to overcrowding".

I know jail itself is NOT recovery, so that has been something on my mind in regards to not bailing him out. If he is ready for help, I hope he has something available to him while he is in jail.

To ease my mind I made a few phone calls and I confirmed there are QUITE a few options for him in jail as an addict, AND, the big inpatient program at the jail has NO wait list. You just have to ask, you get interviewed to see if you are ready to do the work, and they move you to that unit. He is in one of the better jails in the country for various programs (they even have one that includes meditation and yoga!).

That was the final nail for me. He isn't ready for help, he is still 100% lying, and I am moving forward and I feel very confident in my decision to say NO. If he figures a way out, I still wash my hands of him. He is not ready to work on his addiction and I will not prolong his fall.