My dad died of numerous ailments that all related back to drinking and smoking. Even after surgeries for his veins and numerous hospitalization s he drank. I lived out of state during the last few years when he was really bad, and he always managed to try to be present when I was visiting with the kids but it didn't work. I grew up watching him drink, usually the life of the party, then it turned to financial stresses causing him to drink during the day, and at work. He eventually went out on retirement disability. He was depressed and lonely the last few years. It was very difficult for my mom to watch every day, but nothing seemed to get through to him. He was a great dad to me, and was always so proud of me during college, and as I began to advance in my career and have chi,seen, however, I was one if few he reserved this praise for.
I still love and miss him every day. I also know I do not want my kids to remember me that way.
I am sorry about your dad.