i think you might benefit from reading your postings back on August 13, when you first joined SR. it seemed you were so very emotionally entwined at that time and seeking help to detach. it's difficult to do that if you are sleeping with him.
i fully understand Friends that F, but this is a big rock around your neck when you jump in the pool. good luck with that cool &cold attitude. If you view sex in that way, you could be kicking him to the curb too.