Dearest Shootingstar, when my dear husband died, I remember this period of painful "suspension"---having left one life and not yet started another. We were very close and the love was deep. The pain came in waves--just like you so aptly describe. My heart is going out to you.
I can tell you that it will eventually pass. You will heal. The presence of the grief is actually the beginning of the healing. Remember this.
I am glad that you are sharing this with us. Thank you.
dandylion.