I don't feel strong enough, yet.
I don't know when , what I do know is you said you aren't strong enough yet, so not now.
That is simple, this is all about pacing yourself, if you feel afraid, if you feel you will attacked, then do not engage.
Probaly as little contact as possible, if you can manage it, none, she is not seeing the kids, so why do you have to have contact.
You are the priority, you and your children, she gave up seeing her children, she is deep in her disease, only she can find her way out, let her fall.
I know your neighbor is trying to help, you neighbor has not been in the sites of an alcoholic, your neighbor does not get it.