Hang in there! Definitely give the 90 in 90 a shot. I was multi-relapsing and trying AA in a somewhat "a la carte" fashion, really not being serious or honest enough with myself. Last relapse got me a hospital detox, and I went to the first meeting of a 90 in 90 the day I was discharged. I ended up falling a few days short of the full 90, but the daily meetings forced me to walk past my anxieties and qualms and really open up to some profound personal changes.
Faith and courage my friend!