I made the concious decision to drink yesterday. I missed work today. Threw up all day. Anxiety through the roof. I feel so alone in the world, I feel like nothing will ever get better. I sometimes wonder what's the point of even going on living? I am far from my family and friends. I just feel like I am splitting wide open and am never going to be happy. I want to be sober. I really do. I am a nasty person without morals when I drink. Why would I even pick it up again? Hating myself right now
