Thread: So.. What now.
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Old 11-02-2012, 09:16 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
mfox
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 75
Welcome to SR. You have no idea how much you can learn here and how much strength you can get from everyone on this site. My advice - READ a lot. You WILL find a story similar to yours. You are NOT alone.

As for your question...What's next is whatever YOU choose. No one can make that decision for you. And everyone on this site has repeatedly gone against the advice they've received and their instincts so don't get discouraged if anything and everything you think, do or try backfires. It happens. I read somewhere that the difference between your head and your heart us that your head tells you the right thing to do and your heart tells you what you are going to do anyway.

But, as for what's next? YOU are what's next. Take care of yourself and what you need beyond anything or anyone else. You have NO control over what is going on with your boyfriend. If he is an addict, YOU can't change it. YOU can't love him clean. YOU can't make his choices for him and you can't convince him of anything. He can't love you enough to give him a reason to clean up. He has to make that choice in his own time on his own terms. And don't believe the threats and the blame that may come. It is NOT your fault.

I'm not saying don't continue to love him or be supportive of his efforts at recovery. But make sure YOU come first. Trust me, you can lose yourself so quickly in a situation like this.

Good luck, hugs and prayers to you.
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