Originally Posted by
KKE 
I find the whole anxiety thing really hard to understand. I feel like he only ever gets anxious around me! I don't know if this is because I refuse to stick my head in the sand like he does or because I need him to do things that involve making decisions and dealing with life like "which company shall we use to store our stuff" or "you have really hurt me". As soon as I talk about the impact of his behaviour he can't deal with it. He then uses that as the reason he suffers from anxiety and drinks.
Well as someone who suffers from anxiety, I can tell you it's fear gone amok so maybe he's afraid of making decisions or he's afraid you're going to yell at him, or he could have fears of intimacy or who the heck knows. If he was really serious about dealing with it, he'd go to a mental health professional and get some help instead of drinking, doing drugs and using you as a scapegoat.
I went through the same thing of sorts with my ex, though his problem was anger and irritability, he would try to escape that by drinking, which just made the anger worse. Of course he would never accept that alcohol was responsible for his bad moods, it was always something I did or said. The most ridiculous thing could set him off, a dish left in the sink or a sock on the floor. Did he want to do anything to help himself feel better like.... psychotherapy, or meditation, or yoga? No, he thought all of those things were ridiculous and so was I, of course the only answer is to go to the bar and smoke.
Sometimes you can't really help other people, you need to just get out of their way before they make you a complete mental case along with them.