And today is day one- the first day one I've had in a while. And it feels great. Something WAY embarrassing happened yesterday, and it terrifies and horrifies me. Drinking sucks. I wasn't drunk, but I was caught with a beer at a playground, yes a playground, how humiliating, cops came and all. They didn't even ID me, just made me throw it out and throw out my cup too, and lectured me. I left right after. I only had the one, so I could drive fine, but am still paranoid someone might have taken my plates down or something, been freaking out, worried sick hubby will find out, it would be the last straw. But I know that's paranoid thinking, they didn't even ID me like I said. Ugh. Alcohol has once again humiliated me and taken something I love from me (I won't even show my face there again, even though my son and I love going there). Drinking sucks. Here's to my day one. I'm half way through it and I know I won't drink today. For one, I took my son out to lunch and spent my last ten bucks so I couldn't anyway! Much better spent on lunch with the kiddo! Tomorrow is another day. Weekends are easier for me with hubby home, so I think I can do this. Then I have a big trip home for a few weeks soon, and it'll be easier there too, with lots of friends around. I mostly drink out of boredom and from anxiety. Been keeping busy and actually drinking less lately... I know I can do this. Wow, don't even be as stupid as I was- it's really not worth the shame and worry. Even if I quit for good and wait a couple months, I'd still be ashamed to go back to the park. I don't know who reported me so I don't know who knows or if it was a regular or if they'd gossip about me. Wow, it's so not worth it, just for one stupid beer.
