Confused... its my first day..
Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life and I think what one of the most scary parts was it was not a bad day. I have a lot of good things going in my life..but I have never felt so hopeless and out of control, very dark. I was scared of myself.
Yesterday was the day I realized my life, health and wellbeing is in serious trouble. I drink when I am happy, when I am sad, when I am alone, when I am with people, I drink all the time and it is all I am starting to think about. I drink when it makes no sense. I have a serious genetic background of alcoholics in both sides of my family. But I don't know a lot about being an alcoholic so I had a couple of questions if anyone could help...
I am very overwhelmed by the thought of never drinking again, it seems like everything revolves around drinking. This might sound ridiculous but I love good beer and the thought of never having it again is horrifying. How long should I not drink? Like 30 days and then try to drink 1 beer?... I feel like its hard alcohol that is my downfall. Is this kind of thinking a bad sign.. should I just not drink at all ever again? How long is it going to take before I am myself again, like my mental and emotional self? What happens to me longterm when I stop drinking?
Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.