Amen Hopscotch
Dan bud!
if you are gonna drink you throw away all the pixed off moments including today's, along with the triumphs.
Think it all through man! Hey I stopped going to AA at three months and spent most of my time here for the past three years.
Read and re-read Dee's post a few times until you have it.
You can use SMART and counseling and rehab or whatever.
Or not. AA is only the perfect solution for some, as is AVRT and SMART!
I liked drinking when it was voluntary, not at all when it became mandatory!
Dan, if you are gonna drink you are gonna drink. Then you will go through all this again or die from alcohol. I think you are smart enough to try again later if you drink now. But then you have to go through this again at some point. Why not decide that you are going to lick this, and stay the course for just a year or two. Get a doc to treat the depression and the anxiety, knowing your history honestly, and get your self a piece of the peace.
You deserve a piece of the peace.