You sounds like most of us at one time or another Dan
I don't actually think AA is your problem at all - the problem is right here:
I just want to get drunk and get rid of all these feelings and live anxiety and fear free.
I presume you've been drinking for years - you know drinking doesn't get rid of the feelings, and it doesn't let you live anxiety or fear free.
It's not the answer.
we can't live fear and anxiety free just by wishing it either - iot takes work, time, and a little patience.
I think you know that too
If AA is really not your thing? then fine. Find something else be it SMART or SOS or LifeRing, or Rational Recovery.
But do work towards your goal - don't give up.
Drinking is worse than doing nothing - it's not simply accepting the status quo of your life, it's making it worse.
D