Originally Posted by
mfox 
Just curious. It seems that this is a common thread among addicts and I am curious if this ever stops once they are in recovery? Seems that no matter what is going on or how good things in their lives are, it is never good enough. There is always something wrong - its always someone elses fault. Now, I do realize that while they are using this is their "justification" for using more/again. But what about when they are clean/sober?
Viewing ones self as a victim is the epitome of chronic immaturity and most definitiely not limited to addicts.
Back when, when I was Codependent Extraordinaire and obsessed 24/7 with trying to fix my adult daughter, my choices caused me to base my own emotional stability and happiness on what my adult daughter did or not. In doing so, I gave up control of myself and became a victim.
You have no control over what your AH believes or does. That this 43 year old plays the " in recovery" card to avoid taking responsibility for his own life is not your problem. That his parents seem fine with doing for their son what he can and should be doing for himself is their business.
He's living his life as he sees fit to do.
What does this have to do with you?