Perpetual victims?
Just curious. It seems that this is a common thread among addicts and I am curious if this ever stops once they are in recovery? Seems that no matter what is going on or how good things in their lives are, it is never good enough. There is always something wrong - its always someone elses fault. Now, I do realize that while they are using this is their "justification" for using more/again. But what about when they are clean/sober?
My AH is living with his mom and not working. He isn't using because, well, no transportation, no job, no money and no drug connections (yet). I got a message at 3:00 this morning about how he's tired of hearing how his mom is so "broke" since he's been there that she won't pay the $25 a month for a gym membership so he can start to feel better about himself - meanwhile also complaining about how his mom and step-dad choose to spend THEIR money. Mind you, he is 43 years old, living with his mom rent free. He has a warm house, food, and they are even keeping him in cigarettes (at a pack a day) while he contributes NOTHING. He really has NO reason to complain or play the victim, and yet he does. By my math, he should be damn greatful for what he has. He COULD get a job, but he is still justifying why he can't (trust me, I know to trust actions and not words and so far all of his actions make it clear that he IS NOT ready for recovery)
I know he is not working a recovery program and I don't know that he will. I can't control that. That is HIS choice. But -regardless of the outcome with him, I am still curious. Is this a personality trait that persists even after the drugs are gone (if in fact they are ever gone)? He's acting like a spoiled child who's mom told him he can't have the toy he wants. He's acting like he somehow "deserves" it and that it is her duty to make sure he gets what he wants - instead of working for it himself.
I know - there is no logic when dealing with an addict. But do any of these "addict" thought processes disipate over time?