I had to learn that being ashamed of themselves in huge. They are beating themselves up so much. While I thought anger was directed at me-he had so much anger directed at himself. It was difficult but I had to learn that he wasn't angry at me and I just had to let him feel what he was feeling. Getting out of the house helped-doing anything-exercise helped a lot to. Just get out-go shopping-go for a walk-onto a park and read. Anything to get away for a bit.