This has been a really thought provoking thread for me.
This is not directly related, but I was thinking about this thread all last night while listening to Fresh Air on NPR.
The topic was about a Marine how early in the Iraq war was involved in a situation that killed a number of family members of a group of civilians. Many years later he was able to meet with surviving family members and how this went.
I would not have thought that Step 9 and this topic on Fresh Air were comparable prior to this thread, but it discussed themes of forgiveness, expectations and how the soldier would never know if his bullet caused a death, but what an awful experience it was just to be a part of it. How he did not feel as awful at the moment he happened (because he was in denial about it) but after he got some distance he really struggled, developed PTSD etc. I do not want to compare my experiences to the atrocities soldiers are facing (in addition to everyone in war torn or poverty stricken places), but this thread in addition to hearing that expanded my horizons significantly.
Just thanks for opening my eyes and allowing the reality of the world we live in a place. It helped me realize how much more present I am (even when I don't like it).
That for me is what my recovery is for. I am going to ponder on if it would be improve with an apology/amend. More later.