I am dealing with the same sort of issues right now. My councelor gave me a little advice. To just keep stay the path. To live my in a way "I" am sure and proud of, then the truth will eventually come out. My STBXAH has been warping the truth and trying to control me and my life for years. I have been gone for 14 months and he still trys to do it. Who care how he percieved the situation. I know how it was. Who care how he thinks I should be handling things. I am doing my best with whatever I had at the time.
This seems like it should be such an easy thing to do but I do find it very hard. If I feel the need to correct every lie he is throwing out there about me then I might as well move back in with him. Not going to happen.
It is none of my business what other people think of me.
I feel your pain on this issue, 4MyBoy