Prelude to my habit
My last job in the Marines was where it all started. It was coming back from Iraq. I just couldn't make everyone happy. I was picking up extra slack from others, taking charge, getting the job done (I was the 'Go-to-Guy')- only to have an ass chewing everyday it felt like. The guy above me was such a ***** only because guys above him were bigger pricks. A good friend of mine working under me was alittle bit more carefree than he should have been and found himself in trouble alot. Though he was one of the best we had there working, his personal life and mistakes led to miserable punishments and he committed suicide one night. The work environment just stayed so negative afterwards and for the next year and a half I tried to keep the pace up with false motivation and some extra help after hours... Drinking took the edge off no matter how bad the day was. Every work day I craved alcohol, even in the early morning. It began with buying cases of beer, then forty ounce bottles to save money. I would skip dinner and head straight to the store for two fortys every night and find myself drunk and feeling better. Some nights, including the weekends, I would go to a bar and take shot after shot dimishing my funds, but I didn't care. The buzz was worth it. I've drove drunk many, many, many occasions and never got caught, and I didn't even care TO get caught. An average night was making it to my barracks room at 3 in the morning. I found myself still buzzed some early mornings into work, but I was very careful to stray away from certain individuals and cover the scent of alcohol with deoderant spray. When it came to my final week in the Marines, that was when the higher-ups noticed what I was accomplishing. They ordered me to pass on my knowledge to others and make sure they could take over the extra duties that I went out of my way for. I laughed on the inside and left that place in the dust, only to realize my drinking habit followed me as well.