Thanks guys,
On further thought, I feel that my growth is also dependent on other people. Not in a codependent way but in a "I see you, you are here" kind of way. I am scared of meeting people which does not help. What do others do to integrate emotionally healthy people into their lives, or you into their lives?
I am working the yellow book with a fellow ACA, it's taken me 9 months to just complete step one due to a start that needed starting again.. It raised loads of stuff, rubbish feelings and all sorts, but I understand the idea of the first step is to get you out of denial.
As before, any input is greatly appreciated.
Michael