I want the A's in my life to live a full life of recovery coupled with complete awareness of how their words and actions have affected and do affect the people in their lives.
My head says that "living amends" is enough, but really, I want a sincere apology and acknowledgement as well as actual amends.
Too often my feelings were minimized: "you're too soft", "you're making something out of nothing", "can't you take a joke", "I was drunk - I didn't know what I was saying", "Well, if you're going to make a big deal out of it"......... or silence.
And, "I don't remember" or "I was blacked out" isn't good enough - ask me. Unfortunately, I can't forget.
By whitewashing this step, I feel they are continuing to sweep the tough feelings it includes under the carpet and that is the first step to landing right back where they were. (Unless of course, to do so would really cause harm to others.)
Rereading this it sounds bitter, but I don't feel bitter. It just would be nice to have, finally, some true accountability on their part.
Just how I feel.