Originally Posted by
Tuffgirl 
The point of amends anyway, is to reduce one's guilt over bad behavior, not necessarily to apologize to others and make them feel better. Amends are for us personally, to be able to be grown ups and acknowledge our wrongs and be wholly accountable for them. To learn to say, "I messed up, I did that wrong, and I am sorry" on a regular basis. To have some humility. To let go of the ego and false pride.
Then they aren't amends, and no wonder they have the potential to hurt the people they've already hurt. According to this, the amends are all about the RA, not about the one they mistreated. Again. And again. It's always about the alkie, and the alkie is never held responsible.
Amends that are meant to make the RA feel better and not the victim of the RA's past actions, aren't amends, they are a form of masturbation.