Originally Posted by
MTBChick 
I think that an apology and working to live a sober honest respectful life at those times along with an apology is best...
Apology is good, but I want the money. I don't care if they live soberly and happily or not. I want the $90K my first XAH cost me and the $55K the second XAH cost me.
If my father was alive and wanted to make amends I can't imagine what he could do. How do you make amends for rejecting your child daily, for making her childhood a tense and sad thing, for not loving her. Even if after 40 years he suddenly decided he did love me, I wouldn't want it. I doubt it would hurt or help.
My son, if he made amends, I'd be so happy. Just go back to all the people he told lies about me and his brothers to, and tell the truth. To apologize to his brothers. To acknowledge the horrible things he did--and to live soberly, supporting himself and participating in family events. That would be wonderful.