It's an interesting dichotomy - and I have heard from many recovering A's both ways: make amends, or don't and simply live them. Seems, in my experience, the longer the person had been in AA, the more likely they felt making direct amends was important, and "living amends" was a cop out.
I got a minor attempt at amends...but it was all washed away by continuing to do the very things he was trying to apologize for. My kids got no amends, or not even an acknowledgement to any of us just how bad things were. I still think to this day my ex was trying to minimize in his head the damage that had been done.
My friend made amends to me - hers were very direct and to the point. I appreciated it very much, but 5 years had past between the event and the amends, so emotions were not high about it.
The point of amends anyway, is to reduce one's guilt over bad behavior, not necessarily to apologize to others and make them feel better. Amends are for us personally, to be able to be grown ups and acknowledge our wrongs and be wholly accountable for them. To learn to say, "I messed up, I did that wrong, and I am sorry" on a regular basis. To have some humility. To let go of the ego and false pride.
Many are simply unable to do that.