Originally Posted by
SadHeart 
I had the opposite thought about the proviso: that it's used too often as a cop out, as in, I'd apologize and make amends to my exwife, but it would injure her or me (because she'd unload all her anger on me and I'd be injured by it).
I must say, I have had that thought myself. I do think the proviso can be a cop out, definitely. I sometimes even wonder if Bill put that proviso in the step to give him a reason not to apologize to Lois for his cheating ("it will hurt her").