The A who really affected my life didn't listen when he went to treatment and I said when you get to step 9 and wish to make an amends to me you can do it the form of a living amends by living a sober life and never ever treating a woman the way you treated me... And I made it clear I did it clear I did not want to ever hear from him nor have him contact me to make an amends. He didn't listen or I should say he did listen told his sponsor who said you decide if you mail the letter to her. He did I wrote return to sender with out opening it. He did later several months to a year talk to me on the phone. Did his amends made me feel even worse. Now if he were to make an amends to me today 5 1/2 years later I could hear what he had to say and offer forgiveness at the time he did his amends the wound was still to fresh. I sometimes think that they rush into the big big amends to fast. I think that an apology and working to live a sober honest respectful life at those times along with an apology is best... Then later when the wounds are not so fresh to offer a better apology if you will. I also sometimes think they are a little too forthcoming in dumping what they did and why not bc they are truly making an amends but bc they just want to clear their conscious. So from my experience it hasn't gone well but I think that is bc the wound was to fresh for me at the time. Maybe that is why you can't find many positive stories. I think the positives you might find are the amends done with those who may or may not have ever realized they were slighted or were not as close to the A. Just my thoughts.