Great question cli. I haven't gotten amends, and it leaves a gaping hole in my heart. I wonder why it does that.
My sponsor has a great approach to making amends. One of the things it includes is asking the other person "What would it take to make things right by you?" I think that really can make a difference and especially in cases where there is a concern of causing further harm (the exception that onlythetruth brought up). I also agree with SadHeart that the exception is too often used as a cop out: in other words, the person "making amends" never really completed Step Eight (8) properly. In effect, the person doesn't become willing to, and chooses not to "make amends" at all to the other person.