So Stressed Again
I feel like I have relapsed in my recovery since AS was arrested. I am back to be fearful and full of stress and worry. He has moved out but is still using our car for school and AA meetings so we have a lot of contact. Yesterday, he had to go to classes after his arrest on Friday and he was embarrassed. His professor who he is pretty close to pretty much laid out the truth of his actions and wasn't "compassionate" according to son. I think it was good because it was the first time someone besides my husband and myself really told my son how this makes him look to the public and to his professors. He came to my house after class and was very depressed or sad. I told him it was good that someone had the courage and cared about him enough to tell him the truth.
Anyway, his total attitude was just awful. Pretty much like we owed him the world and he was taking no responsibility for his actions. He did go to AA last night and he is working on Step 1. He went to 6 AA meetings from Friday to Sunday so he has found a place to go and I think he is trying to work but I think reality set in yesterday. Also, I think his job offer may be rescinded which is a big deal so I know he is worried about that.
So, back to me. Everything seems to be about the alcoholic all time. I have reverted back to not sleeping, worrying, checking the arrests, and just plain old fear. The three weeks of being sober he had gave me to much of a since of security.
Sorry I'm rambling this morning. SR has become my safe place to express where I am and my feelings.