Sorry dawn. It does get better. Aa is working for me. There is a difference between going to meetings and joining aa. Showing up just isn't enough. Aside from aa-- those cravings can be a bitch, it sucks to ride them out, it hurts, physically and emotionally, but the payoff is way better. Talk to our doctor, seek support from others. Take a stand. I haven't made it 21 days on my own free will. Make a commitment to not drink just for today. Don't worry about tomorrow, or next week or next month. It's just for today. You can do this. You can break free. Don't give in to the urge, the craving, or the addictive voice. Today is a new day! Best wishes xoxox