Situation now...we are still "together" and he says he wants to work things out and fix himself.
Honey, it doesn't matter what he says, wanting to work things out and fix himself , those words sound wonderful, his actions tell a different story.
What he needs most from the people who love him, is to be left alone to figure out his ****.
You asked What I am wondering is what this sounds like to someone not in it.
What is sounds like to me is that he is deep in the throes of addiction, it sounds like he has not committed to quitting, he sounds manipulative, in denial, blaming everything but himself for his issues. Sounds like you have put enough time and energy into worry about him. He is lost and no one can find him but him. Sounds like his bottom is nowhere in sight. Let him fall.
Please, get to Alanon, counseling, turn your attention to yourself.
Take good care, Katie