lonely recovery
I'm just five days shy of six years clean. More or less that is. I've had several one-time relapses scattered throughout those years. I'll drink a very occasional small glass of wine (alcohol was never a problem, I'm a drug addict.) A few years ago I admitted to some very infrequent drug use since quitting a 20 year daily use habit. That infuriated my mate! I cannot talk about my use, nor recovery, with family because it's so hurtful to them, so we don't discuss it. My friends are not addicts and cannot relate to where I'm at, what I went through. NA meetings cite "clean time" which of course I cannot participate in the official count because I've used.
All that said, I quit almost six years ago. Alone I celebrate this achievement, which did NOT seem ever possible. Truly it is an individual accomplishment, done in my own best interest, and essentially for myself. And yet, I wish I weren't in this alone. To me, in my mind, I quit six years ago. That is my quit date and I recognize it as such.
I don't know why I'm writing this. Perhaps to say to others, if you relapse, don't think you've failed! Keep on with your new path. And also, be forgiving and understanding of others if they do relapse. Allow others to talk, listen to them, do not judge them nor get angry at them. Be understanding and patient and forgiving. It's a kindness that will surely be well received and much appreciated.