It's hard to tell from written words, but you do sound depressed. Do you have the opportunity to discuss possible post-partum depression with a doctor? At least if you could treat that, the rest would not be so insurmountable to face.
It seems, from what you have written in the past, that your whole relationship with your husband revolves around him - his issues, his wants, his demands, his problems,
his decisions. Where are you, I ask kindly? What about
you?
In the end it does boil down to what you want - what you believe you deserve - in life. Only you can determine that and pursue it.
There likely is a reason your husband spent so much lifespan drowned in drink - and if he's now sober but unwilling to work on this, you have what you have, in your husband, and in your relationship. It takes two to have a vibrant, loving, supportive partnership. And if you are stuck in an unhealthy relationship, you are not available to find a relationship that would be healthy.
Sending support, hope the kiddies are doing well!
CLMI