so apparently i let someone get under my skin yesterday and the result was a drinking dream unlike any other i've ever had. last night, i dreamed that my husband and i had decided that since i've proved that i can go so long without alcohol, i must have proved that i can moderate. so we bought a six pack of nice beer and stuck it in the fridge. he left the house and i had a beer. then i had another beer. then i left the house and bought more alcohol because the beast was back. because i know the truth about my drinking. what made this dream so different from all my other dreams was that in my other dreams, i've been drunk without knowing how i got drunk. i just was. in this one, i made the choice. i was sober when the dream started. it makes me mad that i let someone's comment get under my skin but it did. ah well. i guess all that matters is that i know myself and i know my limits. i know i have 0 tolerance for alcohol even in my dreams. i just wish my dream self would have remembered that too.
on a positive note, i went to the gym today and worked out by myself for the first time. i went later than i wanted but i didn't let getting a late start put me off. i made a commitment and i stuck to it. i'm really proud of myself for that. i even got my shopping done afterwards! i'm trying to take the "no excuses" approach i had with AA in the beginning and apply that to going and working out. i'm not going to always want to do it but i know it's what i need to do so i'm just going to do it! anyways, i think it helped me burn off a little frustration today and get myself out of my own head a bit. hope everyone else is having a nice Friday.
