One of the hardest things we humans do is deciding when
to cut our losses.
Like you,I fought the common view.The addict I cared about was
different.Special.Apart from all that seedy crap.
She wasn't.A cursory survey of SR reveals the addictive lifepath
unfolds as certainly as night follows day.
One statement of yours hit me hard:
>>>> I don't want to leave him worst off and
with the people that got him to where he is.....<<<<
It's not so much letting THEM suffer the agony of their
decisions,it's leaving them to a class of persons I call
"spiders".These are people who simply LOVE the fact that
the people we car(ed) about are powerless and unable to
defend themselves.
I KNEW from my SR study that this feeling (cowardice in
the face of the enemy) was just another (particularly clever)
manifestation of codependency.
But we can know things logically but not emotionally.
I,too,am sorry for your pain and losses.But the one thing you
can always count on (I've found) are these kind souls of SR,
who have seen it all,done it all,and felt it all.Perhaps you will
feel as lucky as I do---for having crossed paths with them.