Thank you Katiekate.
What was also so apparent was the fact that even though she is now sober not much has changed. She is only 65 days sober and has so far to go.
Even without the active drinking my life would still be torment for a long time with no guarantees of anything positive to come.
Just an example of the way she thinks, she felt very good about being honest that she confessed to me about seeing someone else. (She met a guy in sober living.)
I said you only confessed after I kept pressing you on it.
She said well I did not want to tell you because I knew telling you would hurt your feelings.
I said NO, CHEATING on me is what hurts my feelings!
And this is who I have been longing for?