Dorris, welcome to the secular side of AA, I am very glad you found us, and reached out here. We don't like to discuss AA in this forum, but we do like to discuss alternatives to 12 step programs here. You will find a lot of support for you on your journey here in this forum, just like in the other SR forums.
I know that since you have been to some meetings, you have been told that if you don't follow those instructions you will crash and burn, but this is not true. You most certainly can have that life you are looking for without alcohol and without AA. The regular posters here are proof of that.
My last drink was 14 months ago after years of 20 to 25 units of alcohol a day, every day. I chose to stop drinking and did it, and you can do the same.
Please make yourself comfy here, look around, ask questions and do some reading. And keep posting! Best to you.