Cyranoak I guess that if I was to make a guess as to why I choose not to believe, it was just pointed out to me. I do not trust myself in being able to control my addiction.
I would like to believe that she would never want to talk to me again so that I would have no choice in the matter. Even though twice before when she broke off with me it did not take long for her to contact me again.
As I previously posted I just ran into her. She ran over and hugged me. I could feel every feeling come back to me.
After talking for a few minutes she began to get uncomfortable. She said I will call you when I am ready. Of which I replied ok.
When I ended the relationship I did it on my terms. As soon as I saw her I melted and gave it all back.
That is why I was hoping or am in denial that she would not contact me. I proved once again that I have little strength are she is concerned.