Alchoholism is a cronic, progressive, fatal disease as you well know. I will not comment on if you are an alcoholic or not. Only you can determine that.
From the symptoms you have described I would be very concerned because you have a long term history of heavy drinking, the drinking is getting progressively more, you have a family history, and you are having a hard time stopping, and having withdrawl symptoms. Not good signs, not good signs at all.
You are almost a nurse what is the patients diagnosis?