((Rita)) - Thanks
((Newby)) - I agree with ((Rita)) - you recognized that talking to her was causing you bad feelings. You are NOT a bad sister because you don't want to talk to her when she's high/drunk. If we can't do what's good for US, we're really not helping anyone else.
My disaster of a room is a manifestation of my depression, bad as I hate to admit it. I'm finding it quite therapeutic cleaning it up! Got my music cranked up, when I walk through the house, I'm singing and dancing. Found a pair of earrings in an old purse, a couple of ear plugs that will come in handy, and organizing stuff...a little at a time. The goal is to get it back to my haven, lay down tonight and relax, burn my good smelling candles, have the bed cleaned of all the school books, and feel good about it.
((Rita)) - I AM going to the meeting. I know this sounds crazy, but I know how al-anon has helped YOU so much, and though I KNOW it's not true, I feel like I will let you down if I don't go. Though I know it's not true, it's something that gives me motivation.
Don't remember if I told you guys the vivid using dream I had the other night. Got woke up suddenly with something beeping, not fully awake and I was saying "OMG, how am I going to tell my SR friends? OMG, how am I going to tell my family? OMG, how could I have been so STUPID?" and was in a panic. I then realized I was in my room, had not used. I think when I get stressed or down, I draw on the strength of everyone here as well as the friendships that I value so much.
Okay, time to do more cleaning, singing and dancing
I DID look to see if there was an al-anon meeting tonight, but nothing in the surrounding area. If I like it tomorrow night, can go back to the same group Sat. Incidentally, it's the same one dad went to a couple times.
Love you all!!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy