Cupcake...
I'm here for ya...
I have never experienced drinking the the extent of dementia that you describe... but... I can easily see it happening.
In my drug and booze infested days... I would see and hear things that caused me to startle... but it was because my nerves were shot from non nutrition, no sleep... drinking and drugging every day... and lots of cigarettes... as well as dysfunctional relations with men.
I could be angry as well for not having someone jar me out of my dysfunction... but... I now believe we hear the message when we are damn good and ready to hear it.
All things that happen in life can be used as a learning experience ... and that's the only way to turn a negative like what you experienced into a positive.
Alanon can help put things about your guy in perspective. There is an Alanon board a little further down the forum. Lots of feedback there.
Glad ya stuck around... ;o)