I told my AXGF on Thursday that I needed a break. She reluctantly agreed. She was to come over that afternoon to pick up a few of her things. I decided to pack up everything of hers. I decided to once and for all make the hundredth of many breaks a permanent one.
She did not want to let me go. After spending some time talking and me knowing her well enough by now I knew there was something she was not telling me.
After my pushing hard enough she finally confessed that she had met someone in sober living.
I told her that I never wanted to see or talk to her again.
Why do I bring this all up?
Because I have been thinking all day of writing her an email to explain myself.
Explain myself to a girl that lied and deceived me. A girl that wanted to keep me in her life while seeing someone else. And why not? It will not be easy to find an enabler like me.
So why do I so want to contact her?
Because this is my disease! This is my addiction!
She takes shots of vodka. I take shots of her.
I have been attending an Al Anon meeting everyday. Often times twice a day.
By breaking up with me and starting a new relationship just 3 weeks out of rehab she is obviously not working her program very hard. I am powerless to how serious or not she works her own program. Nor should it be any of my concern.
Buy I do have power over my own life.
And so do you.
I do not want the life I had with her back.
So I must fight my addiction with the help of others.
You and I must go no contact. One day at a time.
Take care of yourself!