LovemeNot you sound as though you are in a good, strong place.... it can be tough being part of SR - as SR exposes all the truths and the brutal nature of addiction - that sometimes I feel we only look at the 'worse case scenario'. I suppose in most cases if we did accept the worse case scenario - so many members would have recognised the 'truth' and left their addicted partners years ago - and spared themselves years of heart ache and tragedy.....
But it leaves little space for some of the times when the 'recovering' or 'active addicts' are in fact speaking the truth. That their words 'I love you';'I am sorry': are true - and not a hook or a manipulative lie. I would like to believe the best - believe in it Lovemenot - believe your husband!!!! But if it goes sour - then no that you are strong, and not dependent on his words... or on him.... but for today - LIVE and LOVE and thank GOD for LIFE - and thank GOD for your husband - and enjoy!!! Just for a while don't analyise every word, expression, action - believe God is on your side - LAUGH and enjoy - for who knows what tomorrow brings... and whatever knocks on your door in the morning - you will accept that too! And you WILL survive!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But LOVE and LAUGH and be FREE.... for at the end of this life - there is one thing that addiction cannot hurt - and that is YOUR SOUL!!! And your husband's soul t00 - for we are all perfect. And we all love perfectly. Just our humaness lets us down!!!