I would like to second what Dee said, get back on the wagon and keep going,you felt better when you were sober. Embrace the awful feelings that you are experiencing,its life telling you enough is enough, time to change. Would the outcome have been better if you had a great time getting drunk or high.
Sooner or later we all had to face it, life without the cushioning effects of drugs or alcohol.
You are not alone, we are here for you as you are here for us.
Keep posting and reading, get a workable program.
Love
CaiHong