Annnnnd I'm back to day one. The difference is, I came back to this forum. I'm not giving up I'm becoming more determined. I'm sick of being controlled by this. I don't even want to use but keep telling myself I need "closure". I've always been a strong person and an so ashamed of being so weak. However, I want sobriety, and will not let this beat me. I do not want to be buried at 23 years old. I'm sorry guys, even with your support I slipped and I want you, totally strangers to be proud. I want to be in a position to help others and that is what will help me beat this.